|First appearance||"New Mexico"|
|Voiced by||Dave Foley|
- "He's like an angry goldfish."
- —Chris on Dan
Chris Pearson (voiced by Dave Foley) is Dan's best friend and Elise's husband. Chris is also Dan's sidekick but is nothing like his cranky friend. Chris is a laid-back, happy guy, but he is still hangs out with Dan and gets caught up in his wild plots. He doesn't even mind driving Dan everywhere, doing most of his work, and never getting a thank-you, although he does have his limits, as shown in Dan vs. The Monster Under the Bed. He often helps Dan get revenge on people and can be lazy at times. Despite how much Dan mistreats him, he's always on call whenever Dan needs help with one of his revenge schemes. He is always getting hurt while Dan is getting revenge and when he accompanies him he usually unwillingly commits a crime. He often takes as much abusive from Dan as his enemies, if not more so. Chris prefers to handle his problems in a passive, indirect manner, but with Dan as his best friend this usually doesn't work out.
Chris is quite tall, has a longish face structure, light brown hair and blue eyes. His outfit consists of a blue shirt, an orange over-shirt, green cargo pants, and white socks with brown flip-flops.
Chris is described as Dan's lovable oaf of a friend who chooses to solve problems through a passive and moral standard. Though he can and will successfully beat someone up if he feels his loved ones are threatened, or if he's told to. He is a complete pushover and can never say no to his wife or best friend, no matter what they ask of him.
Chris is very laid-back and easy-going, and is often the voice of reason in Dan's wild schemes, and oftentimes his conscience, as well. He loves his wife Elise but is completely unaware of her double-life as an agent for the government. He tries to get along with her family even though they make it painfully apparent how much they dislike him.
He has had several jobs over the course of the show but has been fired from all of them, most for unknown reasons but at least one job he lost because of Dan and Elise's meddling. Elise has has been shown on two occasions to want to have children, but Chris is reluctant for unknown reasons.
Chris is a heavy eater and loves junk food, meat and sweets/desserts. In "Art", Chris even eats an entire plastic apple pie and half a plastic sandwich that was part of a realistic looking exhibit, but once he realizes what they are, he heads to the hospital to get his stomach pumped. In "Anger Management", it is revealed that his frequent eating is due to often suppressing his anger towards Dan, his tmp job, an other not yet know reasons. When he unleashed his anger he no longer felt the need to overeat, but went back to suppressing it with food by the end of the episode.
In Dan vs "Summer Camp", Chris met Dan at Camp Atrocious, when they were kids. He saved Dan from being William Telled (who originally was out for the apple) and soon became friends. Chris' parents sent him to camp in order for him to win an award, other then most improved. In the end, Dan made and gives him an award for "Best Sidekick".
Chris's regular job seems to be in a call center, but in Dan Vs. Mall Santa, he acquires seasonal work as a snowman for the local mall's Christmas Crossing in order to earn some extra money to buy presents. At least one job he lost due to Dan and Elise's meddling in the episode Dan Vs. Golf.
- "Dan, you're over-reacting! ... I should really get that printed on a shirt."
- "I'm hungry."
- "Dan, I'm not helping you get revenge today."
- "You get used to it after a while... y-you kinda go numb."
- "Dan, that's disgusting! And impractical!" (when Dan says "I am going to eat your children" in a few episodes)
- 'Don't you think four weeks of this is better than ten years of hard labor, orange jump suits and the ever present risk of being stabbed with a sharpened tooth brush?"
- Chris has a small gap between his two front teeth like his voice actor Dave Foley.
- Chris is 1/16 Canadian, which is 15/16 less Canadian than Dave Foley.
- He takes being called a "Yeti Lover" as a serious offence.
- He is revealed to be half-bear in Canada.
- According to his driver’s license, he is born on 22 February 1985, making 27 years-old by the time of the second season, which makes him the same age as Dan.
- He is also 6'2 and weighs 220 lbs.
- His license reveals his last name to be Pearson. This makes him one of the few main characters so far to have both their first and last names revealed. This could mean that Dan's last name is Mandel.
- He is also a notoriously bad driver, as it is mentioned by both him and Dan that he is constantly running over cyclists.
- His license plate reads: PUSHOVR.
- He has been tazed by Elise, but it was "for his own good".
- When someone (usually Dan) is carrying him and they remark how heavy he is, he says sorry even if he was previously knocked out.
- Since Technology Chris is shown not using a Bluetooth when answering his phone while driving, even though California law enforces it.
- Chris might possibly be a Space Invaders fan, as his bedside lamps are shaped like them.
- As stated in many episodes, Chris loves eating junk food.
- Chris has agoraphobia; a fear of wide open spaces.
- Chris may have tokophobia fear of impregnating someone. As everytime Elise brings up the word baby Chris nervously excuses himself to help Dan.