|Season 1, Episode 12|
|Air date||April 2, 2011|
|Written by||Dan Mandel, Chris Pearson|
|Directed by||Bill Kopp|
"George Washington" is the twelfth episode of the 1st season and the twelfth episode overall. It originally aired on April 2, 2011.
When a tree falls on Dan's car, he believes that America's first president is to blame
The episode starts off at night, with Dan tossing and turning on his bed, trying to fall asleep. After trying everything he can, he reaches underneath his mattress and pulls out a quarter, which appears to have been the problem. He tosses it away (accidentally hitting his cat, Mr. Mumbles, off-screen in the process, which he promptly apologizes for) and gets out of bed to stretch out his sore back. While walking around, however, he slips on the discarded quarter, causing him to stumble and hit his head on his book shelf, also causing a book to fall off and hit the ground. He growls and picks it up, showing it has the title of 'Biography of George Washington'.
Dan begins ranting about the first president and all he did for the country, then decides to just skip it and go back to bed. The morning after he looks in the mirror and discovers that he has a quarter (possibly the same one from the night before) stuck to his head. He pulls it off and appears confused when he hears a continuous thumping noise coming from outside his bathroom window. He runs to the window when a nearby tree falls to the ground, hitting his car when it lands. He runs outside to see the damage and finds that someone had chopped down the palm tree in front of his apartment.
Dan asks the palm tree why it fell, then examines the tree's former stump. Upon examination he finds that the stump is surrounded by white footprints, which he deduces were made by a 'buckly' shoe and after tasting the prints themselves, he finds that they were made of wig powder. He seems to begin to understand what had occurred there and he puts in the last piece of the puzzle when he finds an old-fashioned axe with the letters 'G.W.' on the handle embedded in the palm tree's stump. He commences with his quest for revenge by shouting "GEORGE WASHINGTOOOOOOOOOOOON!" to the heavens.
The scene cuts to Chris and Elise's house where Elise is trying to coax Chris out of bed to go jogging with her. Chris refuses and Elise leaves to go on her jog. When she leaves we see Dan hiding in the bushes in front of their house. She senses that someone is there and keeps looking back, but every time she looks, Dan ducks back into the bushes. She finally shrugs it off and goes out to begin her jog.
Chris finally gets out of bed some time later and goes to the closet to get his clothes. When he pulls back the curtains, he is surprised to find Dan standing inside. Chris asks Dan why he was in his closet, and Dan replies that he needs Chris's help and clean socks. Christ replies that Dan can't borrow his socks, but he already has. Chris asks Dan again why he is there, and Dan replies that they are going to get revenge on George Washington. Chris is annoyed slightly and asks if they will be taking revenge on the school or the monument which have been named after Washington. Dan corrects him and says they will be taking revenge on the person.
Chris seems amused by this and tells Dan that George Washington had been dead for 200 years. In response to this, Dan takes out the axe he had found earlier and buries the blade into the floor, nearly getting Chris's foot in the process. Chris listens as Dan tells his story and states that it sounds a lot like the old myth of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree, which Dan counters is real American history. Elise comes back at this moment and, seeing the scene before her, doesn't seem all that surprised. When Chris tells her why Dan is there for Chris's help, she seems sceptical as well, and Dan blows the wig powder form earlier into her face. She tells Chris to keep Dan away from the house so she can do her housework.
The scene changes to inside of Chris's car where Chris says yet again that George Washington is dead. Dan yells that he sees George Washington and orders Chris to stop the car. Once it has stopped, Dan jumps out of the car and tackles a man in a George Washington costume. He begins beating the man until Chris stops him and tells him that it's just a man in a costume. Dan apologizes for tackling him and finally accepts that George Washington has been dead for over 200 years when the man in costume tells him while Chris exclaims that he's been telling him that all day.
Dan says he believes the man, who is a museum worker, because he's an expert. Chris debunks this in under one minute, though Dan still ignores him. Dan then tells the museum worker about the incident with the tree falling on his car and the man, seeming completely unsceptical, states plainly that George Washington must have done it from beyond the grave. Dan thinks this over and the scene cuts to them being back in the car, arguing over what to do next.
- It's revealed Dan believes in psychics.
- This is one of the few times Dan and Elise are friendly towards each other in the series, a little too friendly in this episode.
- A deleted scene reveals that the alternate ending for this episode was the Tour Guide reading Dan's contribution to Washington's diary.
- This is Mr. Mumbles' second appearance in the series after Dan adopted her in "The Animal Shelter". Though she is only heard meowing off-screen.
- The first and only promo is a trailer officially released by The Hub's YouTube Channel, which was posted on March 30, 2011.