|The Family Cruise|
|Season 3, Episode 12|
|Air date||March 2, 2013|
|Written by||Brian Turner and Garrett Frawley|
|Directed by||James Krenzke|
"The Family Cruise" is the twelfth episode of the 3rd season and the fifty-second episode overall.
It originally aired on March 2, 2013.
When Dan gets unintentionally shanghaied on a Family Cruise, he does all he can to get off it.
- Despite being a "family cruise," Ben is inexplicably absent in this episode.
- Elise Sr. and Elise Jr.'s secrets are revealed in this episode (though, only temporarily since everyone's memories were mostly wiped.)
- Mr. Mumbles gets mentioned in this episode.
- This episode is the final appearance of Don and Elise Sr.
- "The DMV" and "The Mummy" are referenced in flashbacks when Chris says he's mentioned the cruise to Dan before (Chris apparently mentioned the cruise off-screen in these episodes)
- The ship is called the "S.S. Funtanic"
- near the end of the episode, everyone starts confessing secrets
- Chris ate the Gingerbread house Elise made last Christmas, and blamed it on the Mailman. (apparently Elise already knew this.)
- Elise confesses the truth about her actual job, a "Top Operative for a shadowy quasi-governmental agency specializing in espionage, arms deals and assassinations".
- Elise Sr. confesses that she's #5 on the FBI's most wanted list under the name "The Lady".
- Don claims he's an half-alien hybrid sent down on Earth to enslave man-kind, but in reality he just said that because he wanted to be included.
- Dan's confession (only after being prompted) is that "it's possible" he's wasted his life on petty and ultimately meaningless quests for vengeance.
- The end credits for this episode seem to hint that this was intended to be the final episode aired, as it has a list of births and marriages during the production of Dan Vs.