|Season 2, Episode 13|
|Air date||May 19, 2012|
|Written by||Chris Pearson|
|Directed by||Stephanie Arnett|
"The Telemarketer" is the thirteenth episode of the 2nd season and the thirty-fifth episode overall. It originally aired on May 19, 2012.
Dan receives several calls from an annoying yet familiar Telemarketer.
Chris picks Dan up from his apartment as Dan is bombarded by telemarketing calls. In an attempt to solve the problem, Chris adds him to the "Super Do Not Call List." Later that night, Dan gets called at his house and is informed that he has been added to the "Call All the Time List." Dan sneaks over to Chris and Elise's house, where Elise finds him watching TV. While the two argue over why Dan is at her house, the telemarketer calls Elise's main phone.
Elise hacks the telemarketing company's database while Chris makes hot cocoa. It turns out, the telemarketing company is the same one that Chris worked at. Annoyed that Dan forces him to make the cocoa, Chris demands that they stay and drink it before heading out for revenge.
The next morning, after they arrive at the building, Elise beats up Chris's old boss, Mr. Zimmerman, in order to get inside. After checking the system, they discover that the person calling Dan was his imposter. The imposter reveals that this is revenge for having to go to jail for six months in Dan's place. Elise threatens the imposter, who agrees to not call their house anymore. Satisfied, Elise leaves while Dan confronts the imposter, who reveals that he will not stop until Dan goes absolutely crazy.
That night, Dan makes sure his phone is unplugged, but the imposter had planted phones all around his house. Dan flees to Chris's house and apologizes to Elise for being rude to her earlier in the car. Elise reveals she found the imposter's address. Dan and Chris break in, but the imposter's house turns out to be a trap. Dan is gassed and Chris falls down a trap door.
Dan wakes up in his house, which has been cleaned, and is greeted by the imposter, who is dressed as Mr. Mumbles. Dan calls Chris, who had escaped the pit, and tells him to come over to his house. Dan runs out as a car pulls up and gets in, only to discover the imposter, dressed as Chris, is driving the car. Dan jumps out and runs to the police station. Dan tries to explain to the officer about the imposter, but the officer does not seem to care. Dan starts hearing the imposter talking in his head and starts arguing with him. The officer mistakes Dan for screaming at him and throws him out of the station.
Dan runs to Chris's house, screaming that he has finally gone crazy. Elise knocks him out and examines his teeth in the garage. Elise finds a transmitter in one of his molars and pulls it out. They find the imposter transmitting from the apartment below the one they went to before. Dan breaks in with a baseball bat and chases the imposter to the police station. Meanwhile, Chris and Elise fall for a trap and get caught in a cage.
At the police station, the officer tases Dan out of frustration. It cuts to reveal Dan is in jail, bragging to the imposter that he can't be bothered by telemarketing calls, who is revealed to be fishing at a lake.
- This is the second and final appearance of Imposter Dan, with his first appearance being in "Dan".
- Dan technically loses in this episode, as he ends up in prison while the imposter is free yet again.
- In a deleted scene, there was a removed line from Imposter Dan where he tells the Officer to taze Dan in the rectum.
- Chris makes Elise and Dan drink his hot cocoa before leaving to see who the telemarketer is.
- Dan puts Elise on his list in this episode, but soon erases it when he sees her brutally attack Mr. Zimmerman.
- Dan makes a (likely unintentional) fourth wall break by saying, "While it may appear to the untrained observer that I have lost this battle, I have, in fact, won."
- The first and only promo is a clip uploaded on The Hub's YouTube channel on May 15, 2012.