|Season 1, Episode 7|
|Air date||February 26, 2011|
|Written by||Dan Mandel, Chris Pearson|
|Directed by||Bill Kopp|
"Ye Olde Shakespeare Dinner Theatre"
"Traffic" is the seventh episode of the 1st season and the seventh episode overall. It originally aired on February 26, 2011.
Dan gets into an embarrassing mishap and vows revenge on the city's traffic.
Dan is hurrying to get home because he has to use the bathroom, but traffic is very heavy. He is even more agitated by Helicopter Hal's off-topic boasting. After going through much difficulty, he eventually arrives home, but not before wetting himself in his car. Dan dials Chris, who is at work. Chris denies Dan's request for help and Dan hangs up on him. Chris returns home to find Elise creating a chemical weapon that causes the target to experience intense vertigo. Elise tells him to leave before he destroys something.
The next day, Dan dresses up as a construction worker and closes off the main highway. Chris, who is driving by, spots Dan but doesn't recognize him. He realizes that the construction worker was Dan after he yelled at Chris. Chris then told Dan to get in the car, and when Dan sees a police car approaching, he complies. Dan and Chris talk about ways to stop the traffic, and during the conversation Chris mentions Elise's chemical weapons. When Dan overhears Hal over the radio again, he promises to go against him.
Chris returns home and sees Elise putting the chemicals into the fridge. Elise makes Chris promise to not eat the chemicals.
Dan calls Chris, who is at work. He tells Chris to leave work to come help him, but Chris says no. Later, Chris shows up to Dan's apartment, where they discuss how Dan planned to avoid traffic. Chris states that by taking the bus, there are less cars on the road, which gives Dan an idea.
They head to Wally's Hardware Emporium and Explosives, where Dan steals a large amount of explosives. He takes the explosives to a car shop and begins to plant bombs underneath each car. Chris tries to convince Dan to stop his plan, and is eventually successful. Dan begins removing the explosives when he accidently sets off a bomb trigger. Within 30 seconds, Chris and Dan quickly vacate the lot and watch as the pile of explosives blow up. Elise hears of the explosion over the radio and when Chris arrives home he admits that it was him and Dan that initiated the bombs.
Chris and Elise go to Dan's apartment to talk with Dan, but discover that the building is empty. Dan had left a video tape for them, so they insert it into the TV. Onscreen, Dan tells how Chris's mention of Elise's weapon gave him an idea. Dan says he had left two soaked bath towels for them so they can survive the release of the weapon. Elise and Chris hurry home, where the find that the chemicals had been stolen.
Dan arrives at Helicopter Hal's radio station. Dan and Hal enter his helicopter and Elise and Chris show up shortly after. Elise calls for a high-tech vehicle from her company. After the vehicle arrives, Elise tells Chris to stay but he wishes to come along. Elise then tases Chris, causing him to black out. Elise then boards the vehicle and goes after Dan.
Elise catches up to Dan and Hal and fires at their helicopter, causing them to crash. Dan accidentally releases one of the chemical canisters during the crash.
Elise heads back to Chris, who asks about the status of the chemicals. Elise said she only lost one, and wasn't sure where it had gone. The last canister had ended up in Bakersfield, where everyone was experiencing extreme vertigo.
- Dan tries to close a freeway all to himself while wearing a disguise consisting only of a construction worker uniform (with his normal clothes underneath) and a mustache. This was enough to fool Chris.
- Crunchy believes Hacky Sack is a sport. Dan claiming some guy doesn't believe it's a sport offended him.
- When Dan screams "TRAFFIC!", he is first seen sticking his fist out the car window. In the next shot however, half of his upper body is sticking out of the car.
- In the first scene of Chris at work, he wears his regular outfit to his job. In the next scene at the same location however, Chris is seen wearing a light blue polo shirt with a striped tie.
- The first and only promo is a trailer for the episode released the week the episode was scheduled to premiere. It was uploaded on The Hub's YouTube channel on February 23, 2011.